Santa's Pouch

If I hadn't read this story for myself in the Washington Post I would swear it was straight from The Onion.

From The Washington Post...

"I'm pushing to reduce the size of Santa by 25 percent," Berger says from his home in Daphne, Ala. "We're gently and relentlessly focused on getting these men to be positive about fitness and wellness and reducing their weight."

This battle of the bulge has been raging quietly within the Santa community, which is made up of an estimated 4,000 professional Santas who congregate at annual conventions, chat year-round on Claus-centric online message boards, spend thousands on customized outfits and perform everywhere from shopping malls and military bases to homes and hospices.

In some Santa circles -- typically, the ones with the largest circumferences -- the idea that Santa Claus should consider swapping sugar cookies for carrot sticks has been about as popular as vegan eggnog.

Nicholas Trolli, president of the Amalgamated Order of Real Bearded Santas, says there was no shortage of blowback when he pushed for a slimmer Santa a while back. Some Santa lovers "told me to shut up; like, who am I to decide what Santa's weight should be?" says Trolli.